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Scenic Route
Life's one helluva ride — why not enjoy the view?
The Scenic Route Podcast is your audio chill pill, serving up mindset shifts, laughs, and 'aha!' moments that fuel your soul and your wallet.
We're all about:
- Finding purpose (without the fluff)
- Embracing the soft life (because hustle culture is so last season)
- Real talk (sugar-coating? Not around here)
- Actionable insights (for when you're ready)
- Daring convos (we go there, babes)
- Building resilience (without the toxic positivity)
- Mindfulness for real people (with real problems)
Whether you're feeling lost and emotionally exhausted, hiding from your kids in the bathroom, need a break from the chaos, or want to zen out, we've got you covered.
Join Jennifer Walter, sociologist (MASoc UCC) and pathfinder, on this journey to inner peace — with a generous side of potty humour.
Ready to care less about others' BS and more about your own bliss? Hop on The Scenic Route. Trust us, the view up here is *chef's kiss*.
New episodes drop every Tuesday.
Your next chill session awaits. You coming?
Scenic Route
How to Get out of Your Own Way: Navigating Self-Sabotage with LauraAura
Are we our own worst enemy?
Dive into episode 67 of the Scenic Route podcast to figure out how we can stop the self-sabotage and get out of our own f* way. LauraAura, a vibrant alignment coach, guides you through the complex terrain of self-imposed barriers. This episode is not just a discussion but a transformative journey that addresses the common and subtle forms of self-sabotage that hinder personal growth.
Why Tune In:
- Discover how to overcome procrastination and other forms of self-sabotage with practical insights and actions.
- Learn the importance of stillness and conscious decision-making in our fast-paced world.
- Understand how small, intentional shifts can lead to significant transformations in your personal and professional life.
This episode is packed with valuable takeaways, from embracing the art of pause in a nonstop society to exploring the profound impact of personal patience and self-compassion. Whether you're dealing with the guilt of slowing down or seeking joy in life's ordinary moments, Laura’s insights will empower you to chart a fulfilling path forward.
Connect with LauraAura
Website
Instagram
TikTok
LinkedIn
Listen to her podcast The Gutsy Podcast
Work with Laura
Listen to her free 5-day private podcast experience, “Foundations for Getting Out of Your Head”
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Desire to find your Scenic Route? Visit jenniferwalter.me — a welcoming space for the emotionally exhausted to rest, discover, and playfully embrace inner peace. Embrace a softer, more fulfilling life today!
For snapshots from Jennifer's scenic route to a softer life come over to
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Tap into your inner wisdom and let it guide you.
👉 Discover Your Scenic Route Affirmation Card
Curious about what insights await you today? Dive in and let your scenic journey unfold, one affirmation at a time.
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Laura Ora is an alignment coach for driven women, guiding them to learn how to honor their energy and truly listen to what they want instead of what they've been taught they should. Laura is a vibrant speaker, coach, author and host of the Gutsy Podcast, a top 100 podcast and all-around visionary. She'll be the first person to push you out of your comfort zone and the last to hug you as you head to the next level of your life. Laura, welcome to the Scenic Route podcast. How are you?
LauraAura:I'm fantastic. Thanks for having me.
Jennifer Walter:Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad this is working out because we have some tech issues because Mercury fucking retrograde.
LauraAura:So you know it comes to shake shit up. You know like whatever needs to be unraveled shall be unraveled oh yeah, and I was bragging.
Jennifer Walter:I was even bragging to laura like oh, I'm usually not so much affected with tech. Shit on mercury, retrograde and mercury was like bitch please and then your microphone stopped and what's gonna go.
Jennifer Walter:But I've cleansed my space, we've re-centered ourselves. We're like take this mercury and we're getting the show on the road. Um, and I'm really excited to talk about something that is I don't know. I often say this and it comes after the realization. You have done work on yourself, you know your thoughts, shape your actions and what you believe, and still, some days you're like I'm my worst fucking enemy. So how can we get the fuck out of our own way, laura? Well, it's a that's a big question, I know.
LauraAura:I know we're like we're not chit-chatting here, like we're going deep fast I mean, that's how I roll, so I mean it's the premise of what I teach right is is about getting out of your own way, and there's just so many pieces and facets to it right. And I think that one of the most important things and the thing that's running front and center in my soul to share with you right now is just this deep, deep, deep sense of awareness of self, and I know that you've probably heard that a million times. If you're listening, you're like, yeah, I know, I get it awareness, but are you actually? Are you actually? Because to know about awareness and to practice awareness are two very different things.
Jennifer Walter:Oh, want to elaborate on that?
LauraAura:Yeah, so you know, to know about awareness, like, oh yeah, I need to think about my thoughts, I need to notice myself, I need to, you know, recognize my time and what I'm doing and how I'm investing my time and energy and how I'm feeling, like I know I need to do those things.
LauraAura:Okay, we, we all have access to like 8 billion tools that we don't use, and this is another one of them, right, yeah, whereas to practice awareness is actually to get still and actually notice it, and I think that that's one of the biggest pieces that a lot of people push back on is the stillness, the pause, the like hold on a second right, the reflection, the just, really, truly, actually stopping for a second and acknowledging. What am I saying to myself? What am I hearing right now? What am I feeling? Where am I feeling it? Like, really truly noticing yourself, so that you get back into your conscious mind, so that you know how to shift and choose something different, moving forward. And that's what I mean about practicing awareness. Like you listen, I'm telling you, if you want to change anything in your world, you've got to start with awareness, because without that, it's very hard to make conscious decisions that lead you down the right path. So without it it's hard to change anything.
Jennifer Walter:Agreed, it all starts with recognizing where you're at. So how come we?
LauraAura:feel so much resistance when it comes to being more still, being more quiet. Yeah Well, I tell people all the time and I get all kinds of. I really get people going on the internet when I make videos, when I say this the thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most.
Jennifer Walter:Oh yeah, you're wrong. We're frumping like the Pinterest already like two minutes in oh dear.
LauraAura:Okay, the thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most. And so, if you're resisting getting still, there's some information in there for you, my friend. And why do we resist that stillness? Why do we resist pausing? Well, one, it's not your typical go-to, right? So it's asking you to do something new. And anytime we change things, our mind, our bodies, our routines tend to kind of freak out a little bit like oh, I need to do. This is not how we do things and I need to get back to what I was doing, right? There's also a lot of societal pressure to keep going. Yo, bush, hustle closure.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, keep going right, like there's a lot of pressure with that and I feel especially, I don't know, I say our, our generation. I have no idea how old you are, but I mean just kind of like we're probably. I'm 39, 39, yeah, there you go, same 39, um turning the big four out this year, um 1984 babies. And yes, also, how the hell, how the hell, how the hell did that happen? Well, anyway, going back, I feel, and this is also true for a lot of my friends, so that's why I was wondering. We grew up as, like with my, my parents raised me to not be a quitter. Yeah, like you don't quit, whatever the hell. Like if you have two broken legs, you still finish that race yeah like what yeah, well, that's the thing it's.
LauraAura:It's a lot of um training, right, we, we were raised to believe that we have to keep going, we have to push, we have to grow, like there's, that's just the generation that we were raised in. But for any generation, right, there's, there's always these societal or family or, you know, relationship type of influences that have taught us that we have to do things one way or the other and to get still, to be quiet, pause, kind of goes against what everybody has been taught since, like the dawn of day, and so it just kind of feels unnatural, and especially, you know, if we're, if we're talking, you know, even to women even. Furthermore, like just this expectation and the pressure and I'm in charge of things and people rely on me, and if I don't do this, then the shoe's gonna drop, and like all this pressure that there's it feels it brings a lot of mom guilt mom guilt?
LauraAura:yep, absolutely shame like so it's.
Jennifer Walter:It's just not a natural thing for people to pause, but it can be, or it is, or it probably is a natural thing, but it has kind of like well, trade out of us, right, like yes, yes, we don't have to like learn something new to pause, we just have to like decondition or untrain, so we have things.
LauraAura:We have to unlearn all the shit that we've been taught, to get back to who we've always been in the first place. Yeah, so there's I mean, there's a lot of different factors. Yeah, there's a lot of different factors as to why we, why we, don't stop, but I'm here to tell you that, like, if you don't, no one's going to come do that for you, right, if you truly want to start to get out of your own way, to make positive shifts in your world, positive shifts that are sustainable and real. By the way, not this quick win bullshit, not this overnight I fixed everything. Like I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
LauraAura:Teach quick fixes, right. Yes, like, getting out of your own way is not a flip of the switch. It just doesn't happen. And anybody that teaches you that is full of horseshit. So you have to. It's this continuous showing up and asking yourself and really putting yourself in the position to pause and to feel it and to understand it and to notice it over and over and over again, until it just becomes second nature and eventually it will.
Jennifer Walter:With practice and consistency and all the things, all the boring things, that will not sell.
LauraAura:It will be uncomfortable until it's not. But that's the work, right? You hear about people talking about doing the work. This is one of those things. You have to be willing to show up for yourself and do something different.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, I don't know, that's the Enneagram 7 in me. It immediately goes like I mean I'm doing the work, but it's always like I'm why can't all the work be fun? And I mean it is to some extent, but it also a lot of times it's not fun. So I'm like I just want it to be fun.
LauraAura:yeah, you know, tiny bitch, baby, it's it's a whole thing, right, like I mean, what's the alternative? Is what I like to ask people oh yeah, what's the alternative if you, clearly, if you're, if you're on a, on a path of doing some type of work or you're shifting something you're listening to this right now there's something that's kind of unsettling inside of you that's wanting to be moved, shifted, learn, grown, right. So what's the alternative? The choose, the. I like to say, choose the temporary discomfort that ultimately frees you.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, so, instead of the perpetuating discomfort that keeps you in the same cycle yes, and I truly, and I mean I've I've had this happen to me with a couple of like, in a couple of instances, when you're like, okay, I'm not, I'm not ready, not ready to learn this right now. It will show up in a slightly different form just another time. I'm not saying you always have to take everything head on. If, truly, right now is not the time, fair enough, you don't have to unravel yourself every day.
LauraAura:no, and it no and that's the thing like like this type of journey and getting out of your own way and healing and growing and stuff. Listen, you've got to give yourself time to let shit integrate right like you've got to have time.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, it's not race on top of, like self-awareness mountain or something yeah, you've got to practice the things that you're learning right.
LauraAura:Like you can't just pause and feel your feelings for three days and expect the life to change. You know you've got to give yourself time to really integrate this stuff and also to take breaks from it. You know, like you don't have to heal every day I mean, unless that's the part of the journey that you're on, and if that aligns with you, then do that.
Jennifer Walter:But you know, just give yourself some time and grace that it is a process and things do and will show up when they're supposed to to circle back to what I said about the resistance and how it's more of like a guide rather than like a problem per se or like an obstacle or some sort. So how can we? Let's look into what understanding our resistance, what this can look like, understanding our resistance, what this can look like, what kind of I don't know are there any common signs of resistance that people often overlook or kind of like misinterpret and not really take as resistance? I mean it's not. I mean the obvious thing is always like oh, I just don't want to do this and you're kind of like avoided, but there others.
LauraAura:I'm curious yeah, I mean, avoidance came top of mind, right, yeah, avoiding things, procrastination, yeah, um pretending like something is not there, um getting excited or interested about something, but then kind of talking yourself out of it as well. Oh yeah, yeah, you know continuously like I'm gonna do this.
Jennifer Walter:I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, but then kind of talking yourself out of it as well.
LauraAura:Oh yeah, yeah, try. You know continuously like I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, but then you just never quite seem to get to the point where you're actually doing it.
LauraAura:That kind of stuff, oh okay so do you turn the hype girl yes, because resistance can teach you one of two things. It can each. It's a very, it's like a blinking light. It wants to give you information. So, if you're met with resistance, I want you to again pause and just evaluate this a little bit and really feel into.
LauraAura:Am I resisting this because it's out of alignment and I don't really actually want this, but I feel like I have to, or I should more the shoulds, the shs or am I resisting this because I actually do really want this, but there are some underlying thoughts, fears, beliefs or habits that are preventing me from actually moving forward towards it? So it's, it's not a, it's not a singular path, but resistance can really tell you a whole lot. So, um, for I'll just use a small example. So, please, I, I quite enjoy taking a walk in my neighborhood, right, I like being outside, it feels good, it's nice, and I know that I love walking. But I will resist walking and I'm like okay, I know that I like doing this, I know that it's healthy for me, I know that I always feel better after I do it, so what the fuck is my problem? Why am I resisting the thing that I actually really want? Well, if I just sit with it for a second and look at it. I don't want to get uncomfortable, meaning this couch is pretty darn comfortable. I'm happy. Just kind of sitting here. You know it might be raining, I start talking myself out of sitting here. You know I it might be raining, I start talking myself out of it, right?
LauraAura:Like there's all these different reasons where I might not want to, even though I know that it's something that's really good for me, versus you know if, if, if you ask me to go for a run, I'm going to resist that for a whole different reason. I'm going to resist that for a whole different reason, and that would be because I don't want to run. That doesn't interest me at all. That physically is painful for me, I don't enjoy it at all, so I'm going to resist that and my job there is to just own. I'm not a runner, so therefore I will not run, instead of like, well, I should do this and running would be better, and trying to talk myself into it, right.
LauraAura:So kind of a simple basic explanation. But just to see it in context, like you have to really think about, do I actually really want this? And if I don't, can I just decide that that's okay, then I don't want it. And if I don't, can I just decide that that's okay, then I don't want it? Versus okay, I do actually really want this. What is that block in between?
Jennifer Walter:What is the resistance trying to tell me, ooh, this is such a good point, like we often feel that we yeah, we have to do certain things in order to get some kind of permission to see ourselves in a different way, like, oh, I should run more, so I don't know, I'll look better, or whatever kind of weird big near bread is cooking up and it's often just a weird mix of I mean, there are a gazillion different ways how you could move your body and it's just really interesting being curious and why you're so fixating on on this. What do you tell yourself that when you go, when you force yourself to, to go for a run, what do you tell yourself, like, what's the story that play? It's just really being interested, just being curious because you could go for a swim, you could walk, you could box, you could do whatever kind of shit you want to do.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, exactly get so fixated on certain things and it's interesting to kind of explore what. Why is this fixation happening in the first place? Where is it coming from?
LauraAura:a certain price point. If you're in a traditional career or job, that might look like I have resistance to wanting to move up in the company because yeah, ask for a pay raise, right. So I mean it can show up. It could be resistance with going out with a group of friends, right. Resistance can show up in literally every aspect of your life and the real question is am I trying to force myself to do something that I don't actually want to do or am I stopping myself from doing something that I really want?
Jennifer Walter:What? How can we if, if someone feels unsure which side they're leaning on I know it's very like you need to know yourself to kind of like know, are there questions or that we can ask ourselves, to kind of like help us figuring this out? Or is this like, uh, where in your like a somatic experience, where in your body you're feeling certain things like? Is there a way to kind of like help us distinguish?
LauraAura:Yeah, I mean, I think one of the best things that you can do for yourself is envision yourself in the scenario in which you're resisting. So, actually, actually, you see yourself running. Yeah, well, that could be one of them, right, you know? Envision yourself going for that run. How does that feel to you? Does that feel exhilarating, healthy, free? Okay, then that's probably something, a resistance that we it's worth working out of and and through.
LauraAura:If you envision going for the run and you're like pill I, I just really don't like running, like, it's just not interesting to me. I would much rather go biking. Okay, great, we have some information, right? So, actually, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, put yourself in the thing that you're resisting, because your body will speak to you. Now I want you to be very, very, very aware, though, again, there's the awareness coming back and I want you thinking about it. I want you feeling about it, because your brain's going to get involved and it's going to want to tell you that you should and maybe, if I just try and I don't want to disappoint so and so, okay, we're not doing that, okay, I'm talking about five or ten seconds Just feel without thinking, and the answer, the real, actual answer, is usually the thing that you feel right before your brain kicks in the first impulse.
LauraAura:Yeah, and that is your truth, and I want you to start to trust it. To trust it, and if you start to trust that you're going to get so much more clarity. You're going to feel less shitty about doing things. Yeah, right, you're going to be more curious about the things that do interest you, right it just it just helps to simplify a lot of stuff. So I want you to remember that, that your truest answer is that feeling that you get in your body right before your brain starts talking to you and I see if, the more you trust yourself, also the period grows longer before your brain starts to kick in yeah, and it's just more clear, right?
LauraAura:I mean, you're literally building a muscle, you're building a new neuropathway in your brain, so you gotta learn how you feel, right? If that's not a typical go-to technique for you, then you have to give it some time to really grow and strengthen. But ultimately you have to think about these things less right. It becomes more obvious right up front, or the time that it takes you to kind of evaluate it. That time frame gets shorter, especially with just kind of some day-to-day stuff.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, okay, yeah, this makes sense. So I'd say, yeah, awareness of your resistance is one part. And then we had the example right. If you, if your first impulse is like the somatic experience of like, oh, I hate running and I biking sounds much more fun, which I mean not for me, but I mean, hey, you do, you? Um, it's from biking. You know, biking is even worse than running to me. I just hate how my butt feels on a bike well, it's not ideal.
LauraAura:Yeah, I have an indoor bike. I'm actually looking at it right now because I haven't been on it in a while and I'm like, oh, I actually really enjoy riding that. Why am I not riding that? You know, it's resistance again to things that you really enjoy. It's not always about the bad stuff, it's about the good stuff too.
Jennifer Walter:Why is it about the good stuff too? It's so funny how our minds work at times.
LauraAura:I mean, it's the Wild West up there, right? I know there's a million reasons If I'm sitting here and I'm literally looking at this bike right now, which I saved up for. I paid off diligently. I became part of the community. I have instructors that I adore that inspire the hell out of me. I know that every single time that I get on it, my brain feels just as good as my body, minus my ass, because that seat does hurt. For the first couple of times. I know all those things and yet I could not tell you the last time I got on it. So why? Why do I resist that? Right and so for me in this particular scenario and I'm just being really honest, because we teach what we most need to learn, just so you know like I'm familiar with this shit because I fight these same battles.
Jennifer Walter:So yeah, makes total sense. I mean otherwise it's just the blind leading the cuff here why I might be resisting riding this bike.
LauraAura:Well, it is more comfortable to hang out with my husband in the evening, when I would typically ride it, than to get on the bike. I don't love getting showers. Look, I'm clean. Okay, I take care of myself, but I just don't like being in the water. So I know that every time I get on the bike, then I need to get in the shower, and I don't really like that, right? I know that every time I get on the bike, then I need to get in the shower, and I don't really like that, right?
Jennifer Walter:I know that I haven't rode it's the same but I'm like wait, sorry, I hate how long it takes me to dry my hair. Oh yeah, yeah, it makes me mental At the same time. I just I cannot rock short hair Like I have too much thick hair. It just doesn't work. I cannot rock short hair I have too much thick hair.
LauraAura:It just doesn't work. Yeah, I hear you. I know that I haven't rode in a while, which means the first probably three to five rides are going to hurt my ass, which means I'm going to be in pain for a couple of days, so I'm not excited about doing that. Right, like? I could go on and on and on, and you know what those things become Fucking excuses. Your resistance, your resistance to the things that you really want, become your excuses and it's the ammo that you use to talk yourself out of things even though we bring laura on the bike again how can we bring laura on the bike?
LauraAura:well, after this conversation, I'm probably gonna ride. To be honest with you, you know it's what it boils down to is is choosing to take a different action, because you can have awareness all day long. You can think about things all day long. You can be I can be super aware that I have not ridden that bike. That's not gonna fucking do anything for me. It's not going to change anything. What's going to change is getting into aligned action, actually intentionally choosing to step into.
Jennifer Walter:I want to have a different outcome. Ergo, I need to do something different, yes, which might mean go on a bike or something else.
LauraAura:It means leaning into the temporary discomfort, the thing that's going to actually free me and give me more of what I actually want. So a little tactic that I like to use when my brain starts like getting funky and I want to talk myself out of good things is all I'll just interrupt it by saying same or better. Do you want the same or better? Oh yeah it's a little. It's a little mind fuckery trick that I like to use oh, I like it yeah it.
LauraAura:It jars your brain just enough to be like I don't, I don't want to feel the same. You know, I don't want to necessarily look the same. Right to me, it's not about the appearance, but like just how I feel internally, like do I want the same or do I want better? Put on the damn shoes, get on the bike, and in 25 minutes you're going to be like why have I not been doing this, as I feel so fucking much better, right? So that's a little trick that I would encourage you to use to to kind of interrupt that pattern, right, yeah, and then turn on its head same or so that's a little trick that I would encourage you to use to kind of interrupt that pattern, right, to kind of turn it on its head, same or better.
Jennifer Walter:And I mean this goes for everything. Right, it's so new, Russell. I mean, if you I don't know want to make more money in your business and you're like I don't want to do, like I don't want to reach out to my network, I don't want to do whatever marketing thingy that I know is successful for my business, works for my business, do you want to make the same amount of money or do you want to make more? Yeah, save more, I love it. Yeah, that's a good I see. Yeah, my brain would be quite happy with this. Yeah, I like to steal this.
LauraAura:Please do this. Please do I. You know, I like to keep things as simple as possible, because our other tendency as human beings is to make things insanely complicated. And then tell me if this resonates with you. We make it complicated, then we try to do the thing, then we get discouraged by the thing, so we stop doing the thing, and then we get mad about with ourselves for not doing the thing. So now we have more ammo as to why we can't do the thing.
Jennifer Walter:Oh yeah, oh yeah, we got a whole arsenal of ammo.
LauraAura:So, yeah, let's, let's make this shit simple, ok? So when you start, when you feel that resistance right, get aware, notice it, give it. Give it a place at the table Right, it just wants to be recognized. Let's stop pushing it off. Let's place at the table right. It just wants to be recognized. Let's stop pushing it off. Let's stop hiding it. Give it a chance to actually speak to you for a second yeah, welcome it in, welcome, welcome into the table.
Jennifer Walter:I mean it's huge, yes, here.
LauraAura:Anyway, hey, it's not gonna go away, might as well invite it to dinner, like yeah, let it let it in.
Jennifer Walter:Notice those things unpack the resistance like your creepy uncle who invites himself to christmas. Well, no, we don't want. We don't want him.
LauraAura:But you know, notice the resistance, get to know like is, put yourself in the position of actually doing or having the thing that you're resisting, and then make a choice same or better, right and all of this can happen, by the way, in like a very short period of time. You don't have to go off into the woods and meditate unless you feel called to. You don't have to, like, do a whole practice. You don't have to go buy a special journal that has the right cover on it to feel Wait what?
Jennifer Walter:There's no outside solution to our inside problems. Come on, what I know I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be the spoiler, but that's what capitalism taught me Well it's a whole nother conversation. I know, I know I really like this type of conversation.
LauraAura:You know it's, it's, it can be simple. Let it be simple. Yeah, our brains, our brains, our bodies, think that if it's easy, it's not working. If it's easy, there must be more. If it's easy, there must be a trick or something. A trick, something falling apart, right, okay, let's unpack that, let's untrain ourselves from that belief as well, because those shifts.
Jennifer Walter:Why do you think that is that? If that we mistake something as simple as like not as a trick or as a mindfuckery or like why do you think that is?
LauraAura:Well, I mean, it goes back to the earlier conversation about the way that we've been taught and trained, the things that we see, the information that we absorb, and there's just this perception that, like ease is lazy, you know if you're not working hard, you have to work hard for things Like a very Protestant kind of work ethic.
Jennifer Walter:You have to work hard for things. Other ways are not worth anything. Yeah.
LauraAura:And also, I mean, many of us have been operating in that hustle or chaos for 20, 25 years, true, so when you start doing things with ease and all of a sudden you have white space in your calendar, right, all of a sudden, things don't take you as long, right, you're not compiling stuff on. It's almost this like, oh, like what's wrong, right, I need to do more, I need to fix something, I need to put out a fire, I need to, I need to show up your own fires and you start, oh yeah, creating things to fix.
LauraAura:We are our own fire starters, that's for sure. So it takes some time to get used to going from living in chaos to living in calmness.
Jennifer Walter:It's a transition period and I mean I don't think I make that more like that transition more, I don't know, smoother, or I don't know more accessible, easier on us well, I'll tell you this I am currently living, right now, in that phase.
LauraAura:I am, I am learning right now to go from living and working in chaos to accepting my new lifestyle and my new business model in calmness and white space. And I tell you that my body wants to fight it. Like I'm like right, like I can literally feel myself leaning in, and it's it's constant shifting. It literally is reintroducing a new way of life, like it didn't get like this overnight. I can't expect to just flip the switch and have it be a different way tomorrow. Right, I have to. I practice what I preach. Right, I practice the methods and the techniques that I teach all of my clients, the methods and the techniques that I teach all of my clients. So you know, I went from running three businesses to one.
LauraAura:I sold two businesses that were taking up a lot of my time, money, energy, resources, two things that had served its time and purpose, and now I'm fully focused on the thing that I actually really want to do, and it's a new territory. Territory, right. I'm not used to having all this time and I'm not used to being able to focus, so I'm I'm relearning how I even work and what works well for me and just trying different techniques, and I think the biggest thing is just giving myself compassion while I'm doing it. Yes, I'm not making it mean anything, not kicking my own ass about anything, just that. Hey, laura, we've been really stressed out and running in fight or flight for the last 20 years.
Jennifer Walter:This is gonna take a hot minute and uh yeah, as you said before, it's a muscle, right, we, we gotta train it. And until it's just becomes second nature, and until that moment, like slips, we will feel resistance.
LauraAura:Yeah upon resistance upon resistance and I think that one of the biggest differences, honestly, for me in this season is that I'm choosing, choosing to be more kind and compassionate with myself. Like I notice it, and then I'm like, like I'm I'm giving myself my own personal pep talks, right, I'm noticing and aware of my habits and what I'm doing and how I'm working, and I'm like even like all the things that I needed to accomplish this week are done as of right now. And I looked at my calendar and I was like there's nothing on for tomorrow, so I'm just going to do whatever I feel like doing tomorrow, not going to work, I'm going to block out my schedule, and that's okay. And for like a split second I was like, well, what if someone needs me, or what if I don't comment on this, and what? And then I was like it's going to be okay.
LauraAura:The thing that I here bring this full circle the thing that I wanted the most was calmness and white space in my world, and I resisted it by packing my calendar, taking on too much and dividing my time. So now I'm living in the thing that I want the most, but it takes time to integrate that into my world. So I'm choosing to have compassion for myself and to know that it takes. It takes a little bit and it takes practice. I'm I've never done this before like this, yeah, and I have to give myself time and grace to learn yes, I, yeah, beautiful I'm.
Jennifer Walter:So, yes, it does need all of that, but it's also and that's I. Sometimes, when I ask people like my client, well, what do you want? They look at me with just like blank stare, like I don't know. I'm like I don't know, I'm like sent from from Dune or something or just some weird alien shit, and they're like I get this gaze. And sometimes it's funny how we you said we want to take a line action and that kind of requires us to really think about okay, what do we want? Right, you said you want to have white space for your business. So we also need time to actually figure out. What do we want? Yeah, we really want. And why is that often such a hard question?
LauraAura:because we have a tendency to put everyone else's needs in front of our own mom guilt again yeah, well, mom guilt friendships clients girl guilt, woman guilt yeah, just, it's great.
LauraAura:So you know, when I ask my clients the same thing what do you actually want? It's the same response it's yeah. It's a blank stare, or it's quickly followed by no one's ever asked me that before. I've never stopped and thought about that. I have no idea because I've never really felt into that before. It's like it doesn't even dawn on women that they're allowed to even think about what they want with that question. All of a sudden, it's like they're staring at a blank wall and it's like where do I even begin?
Jennifer Walter:I have no idea, and I think that that's such a profound exercise to go through of rediscovering you know who you really are and what you actually want, because those are the key indicators on how you can make decisions moving forward too yeah, and I mean this is such a cliche, but I had this like, uh, I think, yeah, three years after giving birth to my kid, I was like, I mean, the first three years I was I don't know, basically almost like running on autopilot on two, like not enough sleep, too much caffeine and I don't know, just those first three years are which is fine, right, it's the season and it's all good.
Jennifer Walter:But then he started kindergarten and there were more chunks of time and I was like, okay, those are the chunks of time I'm looking forward to to do shit I want to do. And now they're here and I don't know I could fold the laundry. No bitch you don't want to do, fold the laundry, what do you want to do? And there's like I don't know. I actually don't know. I have to kind of like re-figure it out and be like you know, that's what I used to enjoy doing. I still enjoy it. I don't know. Let's see and try to kind of figure out what I really want, because I haven't been. Yeah, there wasn't really on a bigger scale, there wasn't. It wasn't a season to do this.
LauraAura:Right, yeah, I think that there's a period of exploring and experimenting, right, especially if you're like I just truly don't know what I want. Okay, that's fine, that's where we're starting. Yeah Right, no shame with that, no guilt with that. Yeah, so let's start with something small. Right, let's start to introduce this into your body, because what I want you to start doing is learning how to say yes to yourself. That's what it boils down to.
LauraAura:And so, in your scenario, you're like oh, I have this chunk of time. I could fold laundry, like you know what I was thinking about the other day. I could really just like go sit at a coffee house and drink an iced coffee and just like people watch, like I would really love to just do that. Okay, nice, yeah right. So in that moment, it's like what do I actually really want in this moment, this singular moment? Really want the iced coffee? Yeah, so I want you to get in your car or walk downtown, or whatever your means of travel are and I want you to, and shamelessly, have that coffee I want you to choose to shamelessly have the coffee, and it's probably going to feel a little uncomfortable.
LauraAura:For a while you might be shifty in your seat, but after a little bit of time you're going to be like oh, like that was fun, that was interesting, I feel better and chances are, honestly, when you feel better, like that, you're probably going to go home and plow out that load of laundry anyway, but it's going to take you like a third of the amount of time that it would have taken you prior right way, but it's going to take you like a third of the amount of time that it would have taken you prior right. And I'm not saying you have to do that, but I'm just saying that when you re-energize yourself and you do say yes to you, the other, like mundane or or typical tasks that you might have to do don't seem so daunting or irritating anymore because you have fulfillment outside of of your roles and responsibilities it's really the whole like put the seat back, seat belt on you, first kind of thing, and you can't pour from an empty cup, right, but it's just yeah.
Jennifer Walter:But I mean it's silly, heard it, but it's silly. Pinterest cross stitch quote. But I mean it's just true, right. I mean I know, when I'm more like centered and with myself in the present moment, I will snap. I will not snap at my kid for just being an annoying four-year-old at times. Yeah, and it just acknowledged that. Yeah, he's a four-year-old and he does stuff that four-year-olds do and, yes, it annoys the crap out of me, but it's. I have just more chill you've got more run.
LauraAura:You've got more runway right, you're you.
Jennifer Walter:You've, you've added on to the fuse yeah, right, yeah, yeah, that's, yes, very good. Yes, I love this image. Yes, it's much longer and yes, other times it's me's really fucking short and it just needs to.
LauraAura:Yes, but what I want you and everyone that's listening to hear and remember, though, is that you have to choose. To lengthen the fucking cord yeah. No one's going to lengthen it for you If you continuously push yourself to the edge of that. Ultimately, you're choosing that, okay, and I'm not saying that it's easy, and I'm not saying that it's no. It's not a comfortable truth. It really is, but it is the truth. So you've got to be willing, and I'm telling you it's the big shifts that you're looking to feel that whatever that shift, change, difference in your world that you're looking for does not happen from one big thing, could it Maybe? But the more realistic way that this happens is by the little, singular moments.
Jennifer Walter:Each individual decision, it adds up to that bigger chain. Yeah, every time you choose to like react different than what might have been your first, not the first thing said. But if you want to snap because your fuse is short and you want to snap and you're like, wait, hold on, now I'm gonna do something else, yeah it.
LauraAura:You have to take accountability for yourself, right like there's all kinds of uh, external things that are certainly contributing to how you're feeling. But at the end of the day, you have got to take accountability for yourself because I can't come and make you go get that coffee. I mean, as your coach, I could certainly coach you through that to get.
Jennifer Walter:I mean yes, and I mean your best friend can serve.
LauraAura:You can do that one or two times, but at some point she's like bitch, please you, you've got, you've got to be willing to do it, and that's those bigger changes happen through your small decisions. The ones that you're probably thinking are tiny and insignificant are probably some of the most profound ones yeah, again, because we're trying to overcomplicate things and it's probably just really like the teeny, tiny bits.
Jennifer Walter:You know, I'm just thinking of like something that I just my friend told me the other day. She, um, she really wanted to have pizza. Um, she wanted, really wanted to order a pizza for takeout, um, and then we're talking on the phone and then so I was like, oh, okay, like the other day, and I was like, oh, how was the pizza? I know you said you wanted pizza, like you told me the whole fucking day and just like, oh, we didn't end up having pizza. And I'm like, oh, okay, why not? Like you were talking about pizza the whole day, just like, well, I mean, the family decided to like order, I don't know something else. And I'm like, well, you could have ordered from two places order the pizza what's the problem?
Jennifer Walter:like order pizza for you and order I don't know chinese for the family, like, but this just didn't, it, didn't, it didn't even mind. She was like she was looking at me like mind blown or like I could hear her mind be blown over the phone.
LauraAura:Yeah, it's, it's stuff like that, right, like yes it's that it's not even giving yourself the chance to choose for yourself or to even think about that, because in that moment she's like okay, majority rules, that's what everyone else wants, this will make everyone else happy.
Jennifer Walter:The kids would just be more expensive with like two like delivery charges I don't.
LauraAura:I don't want to, I don't want to inconvenience anybody, I don't want to run two people out here, right, all that. Okay, stop it. Order the fucking pizza and look at how much joy that puts in, right and and again this goes back to, it's the most simplistic of things. Can a a pizza change your life? Probably not your whole life, but is it going to put goodness into you, because it's what you've been wanting and craving all day long? It's going to fill up your tank a little bit further. It's going to strengthen.
Jennifer Walter:Can it make that moment you're in better? Yes, same or better.
LauraAura:Can it lengthen the cord? There you go, same or better.
Jennifer Walter:Okay, so let's order the pizza. My friends, I don't know if I mean I really like pizza. It has to be gluten-free for me because I have celiacs, which is like same same. No way, oh, I thought you're 84 baby with celiac, love it I am convinced.
LauraAura:I'm convinced. It's all those fucking tv dinners that we ate.
Jennifer Walter:I can't say that for me, most, my, my most likely cause, uh, of celiacs, as far as I'm currently aware, is untreated endometriosis for years, ah, which sparked other chronic, uh, inflammation, inflammation, yeah, which of the journey really? Um, yeah, oh, what are the odds, girl, what are you? This is so funny. But again, I really like pizza, so I don't think there are any better closing words than just go and order the fucking pizza yep, there it is yeah I mean, laura, I feel I could talk to you for ages and we're yeah, we're you probably will be back, but I hope you want to come back.
Jennifer Walter:If people want to hear more about you and your love for gluten-free pizza and all things, whatnot, where can people find you? Where you hang out online?
LauraAura:yeah, so I hang out on Facebook and TikTok the most my handle is at that, laura Ora, and if you are interested in learning more about how to get out of your own way, I break down the process way more in depth. I've got a free five-day private podcast, so it's not public on the podcast, it's actually a private one. If you go to Laura, yeah, if you go to lauraoracom, forward slash foundations I'm going to teach you the foundational way of how to get out of your own way oh, I really like this five, like this private podcast thingy so you can just listen to it.
Jennifer Walter:That's a really cool way instead of something like a pdf or something yeah, you know that, thank you.
LauraAura:It was another process of resistance and then I was like, why don't I just do it in the way that I resonate the most?
Jennifer Walter:and turns out that shit works, so fun fact yeah, yeah, like make it as simple and as smooth as possible for you and if you know audio works for you, just do audio like, and it works for my audience too, so it's a win-win.
LauraAura:so yeah, lauraoracom, forward slash foundations very good.
Jennifer Walter:Before I let you go, I have all the path. I always have one last question what book are you currently reading or what audiobook are you currently listening to?
LauraAura:oh, I just finished. Rachel rogers um, where is hold on? She has a book called we should all be millionaires and I've read that several times. Yeah, highly recommend it.
Jennifer Walter:Definitely recommend listening because I love the audiobook too.
LauraAura:She is good yeah, I like, I like to hear her energy in it. Um, but she just did an audible original hold on I on.
Jennifer Walter:I'm not caught up on that, okay.
LauraAura:I want to make sure that I Where's our Sorry. We're going to have to edit this. It's not showing me what I oh sorry.
Jennifer Walter:That's fine, we can edit that.
LauraAura:Well, balls, let me hold on a second.
Jennifer Walter:I mean, is it just her news book?
LauraAura:Oh, okay, I got it. Okay. So Rachel Rogers is an Audible original. It's called Million Dollar Habits, so she's got that same awesome zest from we Should All Be Millionaires, but in this she breaks down the steps and habits to creating your million dollar business. So I really love her authenticity. And I just wrap that up.
Jennifer Walter:Yeah, I really love listening to her too. She, yeah, she has a certain something, yes, and great. Well, laura, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and being with me on the same e-court. Thank you so much. I thank you.
