Scenic Route, Social Change and Mental Health Conversations for Perfectionists
Forget the fast lane! The Scenic Route is where perfectionists slow down, get better, and create real change.
We explore:
- Mental health wisdom (minus toxic positivity)
- Social change (that starts from within)
- System critiques (with actionable solutions)
- Inner wisdom (over external validation)
- Mindfulness for minimalists (no crystals required)
Join Jennifer Walter, sociologist (MASoc UCC) and recovering perfectionist, for weekly conversations that blend critical thinking with oh-so-much compassion.
Whether you're questioning everything or trying to find peace amongst the chaos, you'll find space here for your inner voice, mindset, mental health, and collective change — you're in the right place. We make space for both personal healing and collective change — with a side of potty humour.
New episodes drop every Tuesday.
The longest way round is the shortest way home – and that's exactly why we're taking the Scenic Route.
Ready to walk the scenic route?
The view here is *chef's kiss.*
Scenic Route, Social Change and Mental Health Conversations for Perfectionists
Is Your Empathy Overwhelming You? Here’s How to Fix It.
For decades, empathy has been celebrated as the glue of human connection— but what if it’s actually burning you out? In this thought-provoking episode of The Scenic Route, we unpack why empathy alone isn’t enough and why it’s time to shift toward something more sustainable: compassion.
💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ Why empathy is exhausting—and how it leads to burnout, anxiety, and emotional paralysis
✔️ The three ways empathy has been weaponized in modern life
✔️ How selective empathy keeps us trapped in caring for some while ignoring others
✔️ Why compassion—not empathy—is the antidote to overwhelm and emotional fatigue
✔️ Actionable steps to set boundaries, stop absorbing everyone’s pain, and channel care into action
🎙 My Personal Story
I share my journey of unlearning toxic empathy, from growing up in a household where empathy was a one-way street to realizing how this pattern mirrors larger societal systems of emotional extraction.
The Scenic Route Podcast is your weekly dose of mindset shifts, deep conversations, and radical compassion—so you can stop over-functioning and start thriving. New episodes every Tuesday!
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This episode is part of #Podcasthon!
I’m thrilled to participate in this global initiative where 1,000+ podcasters unite to support charitable causes. This episode highlights the Frauenzentrale Zürich, an incredible nonprofit that has supported women for over a century.
👉 Support their mission here: https://frauenzentrale-zh.ch/spenden/
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Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change."
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Empathy has been celebrated as the glee of human connection, the ability to feel with others, to understand their suffering and to forge deep bonds across differences. But I can't help but wondering what if empathy is no longer enough? What if, in our increasingly fractured worlds, empathy is not only failing us but is actively being weaponized? The decline of empathy has become one of the defined features of modern life as we know it. Totalitarianism, neoliberalism and hyper-individualism have all played their roles in eroding our ability to care beyond our immediate circles. And yet empathy alone has never been the solution to navigate these times. You must move beyond empathy into something far more radical. There's a different way to think about mental health, and it starts with slowing down. Sometimes, the longest way around is the shortest way home, and that's exactly where we're taking the scenic route. Hi, I'm Jennifer Walter, host of the Scenic Route podcast. Think of me as your sociologist sister in arms and rebel with many causes. Together, we're blending critical thinking with compassion, mental health with a dash of rebellion, and personal healing with collective change. We're trading perfectionism for possibility and toxic positivity for messy growth. Each week, we're exploring the path to better mental health and social transformation. And yes, by the way, pretty crystals are totally optional. You ready to take the scenic route? Let's walk this path together.
Jennifer Walter:Hi and welcome to another episode of the Scenic Route podcast. I'm your Swiss sociologist and host, jen, and this episode is very special because I'm very happy to participate in the third edition of Podcast On Podcast On what that? So? For one week, more than a thousand podcasts will highlight a charity of their choice, and today I have the pleasure of shining a little light on the Frauenzentrale Zürich in Switzerland and the incredible work they do. The Frauenzentrale Zürich is a non-profit, tax-exempt association and the largest umbrella organization for women's organizations in the canton of Zürich. They support, network and represent the concerns of women in politics, in the work environment and society as a whole the concerns of women in politics, in the work environment and society as a whole. They offer a lot of self-help with counseling and further education services and since 1914, they're independent of party politics and denominationally neutral. They really want to make women more visible and strengthen their voice and encourage them to take up more space. They do incredible work. I love to support them and, if you feel called to support them too, there is a donate link in the episode description.
Jennifer Walter:For most of my life, I believed that being empathic was one of my greatest strengths. I thought it made me a good person, strong woman, someone others could trust and depend on. I knew how to anticipate emotions before they were spoken, how to soothe tension, how to make people feel understood and isn't that what empathy is supposed to be right? But over time, things like the pain started to crack. Something fell off. No matter how much I gave, it never felt like it was enough and, as a logical consequence, my energy drained faster than I could replenish it. And, worst of all, I kind of started to notice that, while I was expected to be the one who felt for others, very few people showed up to do the same for me. And through therapy and a lot of reflection work, I started piecing the puzzles to pieces together.
Jennifer Walter:Right, I grew up in a household where empathy was one way street, and that fundamentally obviously shaped how I engaged with the world. When your earliest lessons in care revolve around meeting the emotional needs of someone who never reciprocates and who should take care of your needs, but you end up taking care of them, you start to internalize very dangerous ideas that your worth is tied to your ability to anticipate, absorb, regulate, whatever deal with the emotion of others, that saying no is selfish, that your own feelings are inconvenient, unnecessary, out of proportion or even punishable. And these beliefs don't just shape how you navigate relationships, they shape how you engage with society as a whole. For a long time, I didn't fully realize that my child experiences mirrored a larger system of emotional extraction, one that plays out at the society level just as it does in individual households. I wasn't just over-functioning in my personal relationships. I was being conditioned to over-function in the world at large too.
Jennifer Walter:Because it isn't just about personal dynamics. It's about how empathy itself has been distorted, manipulated and, in many ways, weaponized. What I experienced in my childhood a relationship where empathy was demanded but never really given in return is the same dynamic we see playing out in politics, the economy and social movements today. We are expected to care deeply about the struggles of those in power, while our own suffering is dismissed as weakness. We are told to be understanding towards exploitative systems, while being shamed for demanding fairness. We are flooded with suffering in the media, but given no tools for meaningful action, leaving us paralyzed and emotionally overwhelmed. And this is not a coincidence. It's a deliberate erosion of empathy as a tool for social change, and that's where we turn next right.
Jennifer Walter:Empathy in its purest form should be a force for justice, connection, collective well-being, but in today's world, it has become a tool for exhaustion, manipulation and control. Just as narcissistic parents exploit their child's emotional labor without reprocessing, society at large has turned empathy into a demand rather than a shared responsibility. Large has turned empathy into demand rather than a shared responsibility, and nowhere is this more apparent than in the way our political and economic system function today. So we've got to talk about the destruction of empathy and how we fucking got here and where do we go from here and how the what do we get out of this mess? So empathy is so to understand.
Jennifer Walter:Empathy is so emotionally exhausting in a world on fire. So if you feel overwhelmed by what so emotionally exhausting in a world on fire, so if you feel overwhelmed by what's all going on, please listen to the end. Okay. So empathy, this ability to share and feel the emotions of others, can be a very powerful connector. But in times of climate crisis, wars, economic inequality, genocides, relentless social media feeds of suffering, it can become paralyzing. And I do feel when everyone who's like I'm just emotionally overwhelmed and we can see things like empathy, fatigue, right.
Jennifer Walter:This constant exposure of suffering can lead to burnout, emotional detachments or even avoidance. People feel powerless under the weight of so much pain and they check out or emotional paralysis. Right, and that was me too for a long time when I was like I feel it too much, I can't do anything. And that's the really crucial, crucial thing I need you to understand feeling another's pain very intensely doesn't automatically lead to action. Intensely doesn't automatically lead to action. It can, but it can just as easily lead to withdrawal.
Jennifer Walter:Uh, there's a very good book by paul bloom that's called um against empathy and empathy, and he says empathy isn't a reliable guide for moral action because it tends to be biased, overwhelming and selective. So let that sink in and let's unpack it together. So empathy is biased. One of the fundamental flaws of empathy, according to paul bloom is and if you listen to it you'll nod in your head is that it's not evenly distributed. It is inherently tribal and biased.
Jennifer Walter:We tend to feel more empathy for people who are similar to us, those in our group, in our community. While struggling to extend the same care to those we perceive as other, we are far more likely to feel intense sorrow for one child suffering in a viral news story and for millions of children suffering in war zones and genocides. People are more likely to donate to an individual they see suffering than to an abstract crisis affecting thousands. Studies show that we feel stronger empathy for people of our own race, nationality or background, and often without realizing it. So this means that empathy-driven moral decisions are often unjust. They reinforce favoritism, nationalism and racial bias, and further authoritarian regimes exploit disempathy bias. They direct nationalist, racial or religious sentiments towards in-groups while dehumanizing out-groups the immigrants, political dissidents, trans people, the poor the list is endless. They use empathy as a tool of division, encouraging people to feel deeply for some while justifying cruelty towards others. Media coverage shapes also whose suffering is seen as worthy of empathy and whose is ignored. We also see this play out in the criminal justice system, who punishes crimes differently depending on how relatable or sympathetic the victims or perpetrators appear, so biased.
Jennifer Walter:A second argument problem. Second argument is overwhelming. Major flaw of empathy is that it can be psychologically exhausting. Right, feeling another person's pain as if it's were your own is emotionally draining. Like what the heck? Every, every parent knows this right, every caregiver knows this, every therapist. Every activist who are exposed to suffering daily knows this. You need to have some sort of boundaries or protection gear against overwhelming empathy.
Jennifer Walter:Empathy fatigue can cause people to shut down emotionally right, leading to avoidance or apathy in the worst cases, rather than action. And also research shows us that people who experience this, who experience excessive emotional empathy, are more likely to experience anxiety, depression and burnout. And now you're like, oh well, yeah, but excessive emotional empathy, that's not me. Excessive is really individual, right. What could be excessive for some is not excessive for others, and I currently, in this climate we are, there's far too much going on than for. We're more, much, much more likely to be on the anxiety, depression, burnout side than on the other. So ironically, this means that too much empathy can actually be like not such a good thing. It can reduce your ability to help.
Jennifer Walter:So Bloom points out that many of the world's most effective humanitarian leaders, doctors, activists cultivate detachment, not empathy, not because they don't care, but because they know they need this emotional distance to remain effective. So that's also one of the arguments where he goes like, okay, we need something that's more sustainable than empathy, because we need people to care and act without being like emotionally overwhelmed and like emotionally over consumed. Bloom's third argument is that empathy is selective. So what does he mean? Bloom's third argument is that empathy is selective. So what does he mean? We already had it said. It's biased, right. But empathy also magnifies individual suffering, while often ignoring systemic solutions, because we tend to feel more. With one suffering child, we see it, we feel deeply moved, but we struggle to care as much about the millions of children suffering due to war, genocide, climate change, poverty, hunger.
Jennifer Walter:Empathy encourages emotional, not logical, decision makings right. It can often lead to these knee-jerk decisions rather than policies that help the majority of people and governments manipulate empathy to justify wars, interventions or policies that seem compassionate but actually cause harm. So I mean we had that after 9-11, right? Um, or generally after a single terrorist attack. National empathy for the victims can be weaponized to justify war, mass surveillance, racial profiling, a whole range of things. That's also a side mark of what Naomi Klein goes into in her book the Shock Doctor. Or we see a politician hugging a grieving mother. That might gain public support, but their policies they often go back and create in their chambers create more suffering in the long run. So is it truly ethical, like the photo op. So Bloom argues that rational compassion is a better moral guide than empathy, because it prioritizes systematic justice over knee-jerk emotional reactions.
Jennifer Walter:And now we also have neoliberalism. Who loves all of this right? So, like neoliberalism, the dominant economic ideology for the past 40 years, together with capitalism, has systematically dismantled social solidarity and replaced it with hyper individualism. Everything is your personal responsibility your success, your failure, your suffering. If you're struggling, it's not because of systemic inequality, but because you didn't try hard enough. Right? Structural issues are becoming increasingly invisible, if they're not have already been completely like getting out of sight. Poverty is framed as a personal failing rather than a policy failure. Mental illness becomes an individual burden rather than a public health crisis. Empathy is privatized. Instead of collective welfare systems, people are expected to rely on personal charity, volunteer work or corporate giving back initiatives, or some other people fund their GoFundMes, like I can't.
Jennifer Walter:So this neoliberalism framework encourages performative empathy. Right, we all know the thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers kind of shit. So they encourage this performative empathy over systemic change, redistribution, justice, real fairness. So it keeps us trapped in feeling but not acting. It might appear as we act, but it's all a charade. We're not acting. Thoughts and prayers are not acting right. They're theater, they're yeah. So once we've destroyed empathy, we can replace it with fear. This is now kind of like another chapter in the authoritarian playbook. When societies become exhausted, distrustful, emotionally burned out and people generally feeling a greater level of despair, oh, therianism is rubbing its hands gleefully and it's like yes, it's my time to shine.
Jennifer Walter:Totalitarian leaders and movements have always attacked empathy as weakest. They replace connection with division, care with fear, solidarity with surveillance. Hannah Arendt, in her very important and famous book the Origins of Totalitarianism, warned that the first step towards authoritarian rule is breaking down social bonds and turning people against each other. This is what we're already seeing playing out in this, like really fracturing of society. Instead of the 99 versus the one, it's left versus right, liberal versus democrats, christian versus muslims, whatever versus Muslims whatever. Nazism and fascism encourage people actively to see their neighbors as threats, turning them into informants rather than allies. We have McCarthyism in the US, thatcherism in the UK, who both kind of framed empathy for marginalized groups as un-American, or Browning Justice movement as communist threats. We see the same fucking tactics today, like empathy is labeled as weakness.
Jennifer Walter:Right when we have this I don't know new surge of pseudo-uber-masculinity. Masculine leaders, real leaders, don't cuddle people. Like real leaders, like the scream loud and scream fast and scream shit, I don't know. We see, compassion is marked as naive. Oh, you're just liberal snowflake. We all heard that. One worry proudly. It's my badge of honor. Um, the world is tough, toughen up, deal with it right. Like no, no, why, why would we want? Like what? Make it make sense, right. And we see out groups as dehumanized activists. Right now those are. That is particularly true for Palestinian activists, lgbtq plus people, the poor, although people are painted as shreds rather than as fellow humans.
Jennifer Walter:And again, this is not an accident, a fearful disconnect. Society is easier to control. So this is me in my soapbox. If you ever do like a bullshit, bingo when you listen to this podcast, you can always do a shot. And I'm like neoliberalism, capitalism, you take a shot anyway. So this is kind of where we come from and I do not. I'm gonna end this podcast now. We all feel super dysregulated. I don't want that. So if you have watched, listened or watched this far, just fucking stick to the end please, because we're coming to. Well, what the fuck are we doing now, jen? Glad you asked. So we're kind of trying to move from empathy to compassion, right.
Jennifer Walter:If empathy alone is not enough, what do we do we cultivate compassion? Do we do we cultivate compassion? And as um paul said in his great book, compassion is kind of like the antidote to empathy fatigue, right? Unlike empathy, compassion does not require emotional overwhelm. It does not demand that we feel the suffering of every individual and we feel it deeply. Instead, it focuses on action, moral responsibility, and this is my favorite. Call me a biased sociologist. Systemic change, right. Call me a biased sociologist. Systemic change, right.
Jennifer Walter:Neuroscientific research shows that compassion and empathy activate different brain regions. That's crazy shit, right? Empathy engages pain processing centers, which no wonder you feel fucking exhausted if it activates your pain processing centers. Compassion ever has been linked to brain areas that are for, like, motivation and problem solving. I mean, how cool is that? So empathy makes us feel, which is cool, but compassion makes us act, which is even fucking cooler.
Jennifer Walter:So Bloom does not argue that we should be cold, unfeeling individuals, like not at all. Instead, he suggests that we should cultivate compassion instead of relying on empathy as our primary moral guide. He argues that compassion allows us to care about bias. Compassion is sustainable. It doesn't lead to emotional exhaustion. Compassion encourages systemic solutions rather than just individual emotional responses. For example, instead of just donating to one person's GoFundMe for medical bills, we should I mean we should, or we should all fight for better healthcare or better access, and especially my dear American listeners people out on the streets marching for universal healthcare so that no one needs a fundraiser to survive. This is like late stage capitalism hellscape. So, instead of feeling overwhelmed by individual suffering, we should support policies that address suffering at scale. We need to combat this bottom-up and top-down.
Jennifer Walter:So how can we cultivate compassion without the empathy fatigue and some of you who have listened to other podcasts or read some of my work, this is not necessarily new. Again, your brain needs approximately 14 repetitions until something really seeks in. So take it as one of those 14. Stop trying to feel everything right. Take it from someone who's been there, done that, took years to recover. Don't focus on what you deeply, deeply care about and focus on what you can do. That's the most important, right? You don't need to. You don't need like a mature kind of suffering to be effective. Actions matter more than feelings, right, if you can channel your feelings into something, and it doesn't need to be you going into politics, necessarily right. You can channel your, your, your feelings into your art, your books, your fucking, your books, your fucking podcasts, your paintings, how you show up for others, how you show up for your community that matters. So, instead of absorbing every tragedy, you, sponge-like, choose an issue you deeply care about and commit to it.
Jennifer Walter:Another step to cultivate compassion is build compassion through boundaries. Recognize that you are not responsible for fixing everything alone, but you are part of the solution. Right. Do what you can and by showing up, others will be encouraged to do the same. Healthy compassion means knowing when you need to step back without shutting down. When you need to step back without shutting down, it is knowing yourself enough, respecting yourself enough, loving yourself enough to know I need a fucking break now. I don't need, but not a break to like shut down, a break to come back fucking stronger. Another step towards cultivating compassion is turning it into collective action. Do personal acts of kindness and move on to support systemic solutions Right, instead of just shoving your money, donating to an individual cause which is good and needed. I'm not saying don't, but don't. Just donate to GoFundMe. Clean your hands and be like that's it, I've done my good deed, at the very least ask why is this required of me? Why is the system failing those people? And, if you have the capacity, organize for change.
Jennifer Walter:Another step towards compassion is reject cruelty as a this even feels fucking wrong to say this. Reject cruelty as a this even feels fucking wrong to say this. Reject cruelty as a cultural value right. Recognize when leaders, corporations, media are encouraging or actively dehumanize people. You see it in a lot of headlines. When we start not talking about people, speak up, get loud. Dehumanization is such an important tool right now that's being used to fracture us further.
Jennifer Walter:You can also push back against the idea of the world is just harsh. Just fucking deal with it, because that believe only benefits those in power. It helps fucking no one. And and actually you also push back on the idea of hard work will lead to success. Yes, like there is nothing said about working hard, that that is not a good thing, but we have people working their asses off, working two, three, I don't know how many jobs not making ends meet, and push back on the idea that this is an individual problem or issue. It is not. There are too many of those people for it to be an individual problem or issue. It is not. There are too many of those people for it to be an individual issue.
Jennifer Walter:Another step towards compassion is find and build networks of compassion Right. Go out into the real world. Compassion grows in community. Join mutual aid groups, activists, spaces, collectives, where care is not an individual burden but a shared practice. Again, pick one thing you're passionate about, be it climate change, feminism, supporting LGBTQ people, black Lives Matter, supporting Black women, black mothers. Go out, support that community. Black Lives Matter, supporting black women, black mothers. Go out, support that community.
Jennifer Walter:So you've heard me say it before like your focus is your resistance, but also compassion. Is resistance right this time of I don't know, can I say rising altarianism, because I feel it's already pretty much like grown, but probably could always get worse before it gets better, as like we're emotionally overwhelmed and compassion is a radical choice. So when empathy can be manipulated, compassion builds justice, empathy can drain us, compassion sustains us, fuels us. Empathy is individual, compassion is collective. I feel we're. We're kind of like told we must choose between caring too much and shutting down, not caring at all. But again, the simple binary is never the solution. Things are always much more complicated than just simple binary solutions. There's another way, a way that moves us beyond feeling into doing, beyond despair into action. And when we are just society getting increasingly fractured and we see division and cruelty, dehumanizing, uttering, choosing compassion is not just an act of kindness, it's also an act of defiance.
Jennifer Walter:What's one small action you can take today that starts your journey on turning empathy into compassion? I would love to hear your thoughts, comments on social media. I'm at it's Jennifer Walter. On all social media you can reach out, you can comment in the comments below. We got this, babes. We got this.
Jennifer Walter:Oh, okay, and that wraps up this very special episode of the City Growth Podcast. That was part of the podcast. If you enjoyed it, feel free to visit podcastonorg to discover hundreds of other associations through the voices and talents of amazing podcasters. And just like that, we've reached the end of another journey together on the Cine Group Podcast. Thank you for spending time with us, curious for more stories or in search of the resources mentioned in today's episode, visit us at scenigroupodcastcom for everything you need.
Jennifer Walter:And if you're ready to embrace your scenic route, I've got something special for you. Step off the beaten path with my scenic route affirmation card deck. It's crafted for those moments when you're seeking courage, yearning to trust your inner voice and eager to carve out a path authentically, unmistakably yours. Pick your scenic route affirmation today and let it support you. Excited about where your journey might lead, I certainly am. Remember, the scenic route is not just about the destination, but the experiences, learnings and joy we discover along the way. Thank you for being here and I look forward to seeing you on the scenic route again.
