Flourish > Happy: The Positive Psychology Shift You Didn’t Know You Needed

Gratitude journals. Green juices. Meditation apps. We've been taught happiness is a checklist, but what if that's only half the story?

In this episode, we dive into the world of Positive Psychology and the concept of flourishing– living deeply, not just lightly. 

We explore the PERMA‑H model (Positive Emotion • Engagement • Relationships • Meaning • Accomplishment • Health) and what it really means to feel alive even when life isn’t easy. 

If you’ve done all the “right” self‑care things and still feel off… you’re not failing. You’re human. And this episode is your gentle invitation to stop chasing happiness and start tending what matters. 

What You’ll Discover:

• Why happiness as a finish line keeps us stuck
• How the PERMA‑H model gives us a fuller picture of wellbeing
• How cultural expectations twist engagement, achievement, health & more
• A simple journaling exercise to map where you’re full and where you need space
• Why flourishing is rhythmic – not balanced or perfect

 “Flourishing is the whole spectrum – light and dark, joy and grief, purpose and pause. And learning to hold all of it – that’s what it really means to be alive.”

🎧 Ready to go deeper?
If your brain’s been working overtime trying to “fix” you – maybe it’s time to stop thinking… and start feeling.

My Colour Reading & Integration Session blends Aura‑Soma with guided meditation to help you reconnect with your inner calm.
Book your session and let your intuition speak 🫶

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Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, tired minds, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Rethinking Happiness
• 1:32 Meet The Host And Show Ethos
• 2:32 From Happiness To Flourishing
• 4:19 Introducing The PERMAH Model
• 6:13 P Is For Positive Emotion
• 8:32 E Is For Engagement And Flow
• 9:59 R Is For Relationships And Belonging
• 12:10 M Is For Meaning Beyond Achievement
• 14:12 A Is For Accomplishment In Context
• 16:36 H Is For Health As Safety And Rest
• 18:20 Build Your PERMAH Wheel
• 20:28 Tending Not Optimizing
• 21:45 From Thinking To Feeling

Transcript

Jennifer Walter: 0:00

Okay, so here's the thing. Most of us were taught to chase happiness like it's a checklist. Journal, check. Medic, check. Go to therapy, check. Think that ugly has green cheese, check. But what happens when you do all the right things and still feel kinda eh? Yeah, that's what we're getting into today. And so this episode isn't about any of this toxic positivity or mood boosting hacks, crap, whatever. Um, it's about what positive psychology actually says about living well. So if you've ever felt like you're failing at happiness, this is your gentle invitation to jump chasing the high and start tending to what actually makes us feel alive and well. So let's go. There's a different way to think about mental health. And it starts with slowing down. Sometimes the longest way around is the shortest way home. And that's exactly where we're taking the scenic route. Hi, I'm Jennifer Walter, host of the Scenic Rad Podcast. Think of me as your sociologist, sister in arms, and rebel with many causes. Together, we're blending critical thinking with compassion, mental health with a dash of rebellion, and personal healing with collective change. We're trading perfectionism for possibility and toxic positivity for messy growth. Each week, we're exploring the path to better mental health and social transformation. And yes, by the way, pretty crystals are totally optional. You ready to take the scenic route? Let's walk this path together. Okay, so we talk so much about happiness, about balance, work-life balance, about wellness, about all the things we're supposed to be doing to live or have a good life. But if you've ever done all the right things, and that currently includes meditating, channeling, exercising, going to therapy, and still felt, you know, kind of off, you're absolutely not alone. And I think most of us have learned to chase happiness the way we chase productivity as something to achieve, and we treat happiness like a fucking finish line. One more thing to optimize, one more measure of how well we're doing, or and yet, for all the energy we put into chasing it, it rarely lasts. You think you got it, and you blink, and it's poof. That's because happiness, at least the way we talk about it, it's fleeting. It it's the good moments, the the Polaroids, the Polaroid snapshots of joy, gratitude, satisfaction, but not necessarily the deeper sense of well-being that carries us through harder times. So psychologists began to notice this too. I mean, they're also a smart bunch, right? So they started asking, what if a good life isn't just about feeling good, but about functioning well? And that's kind of like how positive psychology um emerged uh a few decades ago. Not as the study of constant happiness, as one might think, but of what helps people, groups or communities flourish. As researchers Gable and Hayde put it, positive psychology is the study of the conditions and processes that contribute to the flourishing or optimal functioning of people, groups, or institutions. And of course, if you say that, you also have to include positive sociology, but that's that's my beef with psychology. So we're we're not doing this today. Um, but that's kind of like where the idea of flourishing comes in, not as an alternative to happiness, but I don't know, I think as a fuller picture of what it means to live well, to be alive and engaged and connected, even when life isn't easy and shit hit the fan. And that's why I really want to introduce you to the perma-age model. It's I don't know, let's say it's kind of like a map of well-being. So psychologist Martin Seligman, who was also uh one of the positive psychology um forefinkers, that's a word, forefinkers, anyway, who um at least one of the founders of positive psychology, he tried to map out what it means to truly flourish. Um, and he came up with a model called PERMA. Um, elements that together make up well-being, and it's P positive emotion, E, engagement, R relationships, M meaning a accomplishment accomplishment. And well, later, um, there was an addition um for H perma H model, H for Health, because yeah, psychologists also realized, oh, you know, we actually have the body, and that's a crucial pillar of how we're doing and feeling. So um, and it's really a helpful framework, right? Because it also reveals uh with everything, it reveals a lot about our culture and what we tend to value, and it's really an interesting Polaroid. If you do the map, it's a really interesting polar of your current state of flourishing. So today I want you to talk through each part of the perma age model, not like not for you, not to add another thing to cross off your checklist, but it's what has a helpful framework. And because let's be real, it is a mirror for where we're pouring energy into and where we're quietly tap out. So we have P, positive emotion. That's like the joy, the gratitude, the pleasure, comfort. Like those small everyday lifts that make you feel lighter. Like for me, it's when I actually get to enjoy my coffee warm, and currently it's a big joy and comfort are dirty chives in the morning when I make them and it takes I don't know, an extra five to ten minutes, but it's bliss. Or I don't know, when you suddenly when suddenly the sun breaks through the clouds, which here during the winter months is like a miracle itself, anyway. Or if the leaves suddenly dance in the wind, going oh full American beauty. Um, you know, it's just those little lifts. Um, but and then again, culturally, we turn positive emotion into some sort of moral duty, right? It's almost like as we have this culture right now that treats happiness as proof of personal success. So if you're positive, if you're feeling happy, it means you're doing life right. If you're sad, angry, or anxious, it means you need to fix yourself. And yeah, which is given the current state of the world, really, really quite a mind bend here. Um so the problem is to to kind of to push us into performing happiness instead of really feeling it and performing happiness and also to like to just to buy happiness, right? Oh, you feel sad here, take this. You feel angry, oh you take this, right? It really becomes very much like an again, a very um individualized neoliberalism, neocapitalism way of getting out of this mess. And if we do that, if we perform happiness, we start to curate happiness rather than actually living it. And joy then becomes, I don't know, it becomes work. We don't want any of that. Um, then with E, engagement, second pillar. Um those moments of deep focus or flow when we lose ourselves into something we love. So I don't know what it is for you painting, writing, gardening, playing with your kid, and time collapses and disappears, like true engagement. And it's again we rarely I I meet a lot of adults who don't really have a hobby or like just for the sake of enjoying something. Because even our hobbies have expected to have outcomes, right? You you you have you can't just knit every time I I get a compliment for something I I wear that I happen to knit myself, like I get the immediate thing of, oh, you should sell it. Like, babes, maybe I should not. It's it's okay if you don't have an Etsy shop, like you'll you'll be fine. Um and yeah, it's again, we're not the root cause of it. First of all, we go to now we go to our relationships. Like feels obvious, right? We're uh social human beings. Um I'd say the big, big majority of us, uh, we need connection, love, and support. Um, it helps us thrive. Um again, the villages are in rubles. We have so much pressure on to be self-sufficient. Um that I don't know, I don't think we ever were. Right? Like it's imp yes, being dependent is not a thing, it's not the wrong, it's not the way to go, but there needs to be it's not either or there needs to be a balance. Um we struggle with this. Um, so Solarist Ulrich Beck wrote about as like this kind of like how modern life has privatized connection. Um, traditional communities dissolved, and we each became like our own village, and realizing that's not actually working, and that's why we're also fucking exhausted all the time. Um like I really don't think we're built for isolation. Um I rather have isolation than hanging with the wrong people, that's for sure. But I really enjoy the company of the chosen of my chosen people. I think there's also a lot of healing in relationships that can happen. Um so I don't know, if you feel like your self-care isn't working, maybe it's because we were never really meant to do it all alone. Um I truly think flourishing at its core is relational. So maybe it's not about how independent we can be, but about how deeply we can belong. Um meaning this is maybe like the hardest one to talk about generally because it's so deeply personal. Meaning isn't the same as purpose or achievement. Uh maybe it's more about coherence, the sense that our life has a shape, that our experiences fit together in a way that makes sense to us and are meaningful to us. And we we roll into the danger of having thousands versions of the good life on our social media feeds and keep comparing and constantly curating and and one scroll, and you're suddenly meant to be journaling at sunrise, drinking mushroom lattes, and running a business with the perfect bangs. And this is not I don't know, maybe that's not the good life. There maybe that's the bad place. But like it's really meaning Again neocapitalism becomes another thing to produce and meaning is just really something that comes up and it doesn't have to be like this grand purpose. Sometimes meaning is just being present enough to notice what really matters. So really, yeah, how how much meaning do you have in your life? Or can you have do you have meaning at all in your life? What does or are there different little things that build meaning for you? A accomplishment. Now, this is the one we're we love accomplishment, achievement, mastery, success, progress, right? This is kind of like this is basically how that that one part of the whole wheel that we just measure, like we're looking at this and we're like, okay, we we've made it, we've come this far. Um this is this is what I'm worth. I've done this, I've accomplished this. Um but the interesting thing is it's just really like one fraction of this wheel. Um and again, if if you have accomplishment without the without the rest, without connection, without meaning, what what does it mean? Right? I don't know, it's maybe like climbing mountain and realizing the you is shit. It doesn't really, I don't know, make you feel anything. Because a lot of us, we've ticked the boxes, right? We we got like uh we got the career milestone, we got the corner office, we got the nice outfit, we got the nice bag, we got the next, we got the car, whatever, and we still kind of like felt eh. Um so again well-being just kind of like take take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments. That's important, um, and it's important to see that it is a part of the of the entire wheel. And lastly, we have age for health. Um yeah, again, it's interesting that this one was late added later. Like, hey, psychologist, remember there's a body, and health here isn't just the absence of illness, right? It's uh it's energy, vitality, rest, embodiment, the sense that we are living in, not against our bodies. And again, uh, we've moralized so much of it. Health becomes proof of discipline as a visible sign of control, right? And we see this so much with fat bodies as being fat being uh an equivalent to having no discipline, having no self-control. Um, and then the whole branch of wellness as mark it as a lifestyle with very clear and barriers of entry. Um and again, also here, health isn't just personal, it's also it's very much social, right? It affects our health is affected by how we work, what we eat, how much rest we can afford, whether we feel safe. So really like look into that. Um and again we we treat everything as a vibe as a creation and not very much as a lived experience. Because health, I don't know, it's not about control, it's about safety, about feeling safe and that your body is is on your side and not a to-do list. And flourishing isn't green smoothies and 5 a.m. alarms necessarily. Right? It's it's also knowing when your body says rest and letting that just be enough. So I want you to get a piece of paper and draw a circle. Like obviously, like not if you're driving, but it's really interesting. Just do this with me. Draw draw wheel. This will be your personal snapshot of today, your perma H wheel, your little map of flourishing. Now divide it into six equal sections and label them P for positive emotion, E for engagement, R for relationship, M for meaning, A for accomplishment, and H for health. Take a moment to tune into each one, and then on the scale from one to six, mark um like on the section dividers, mark how fully that parse feels right now. One being empty or neglected, six being full, alive, flourished. And again, there's no right or wrong. This isn't about judging yourself or crapping on about yourself. It's just simply about noticing where your energy is flowing and where something might be quietly asking for attention. And when you've done that and you look at your circle, I don't know, resist to to make it into something that is not. And don't feel like, I don't know, to to do have the urge to perfectly balance it. Uh it's not a score to like, oh, to tweak or perfect. And also it it is not just flourishing, it's about optimizing all the six dimensions, right? It's not I don't think it's about optimizing. I'd rather say it's about tending to them, letting them shift and breathe depending on where you are in your life. Um some seasons are heavy on accomplishment, others are all about healing or meaning or relationships. So flourishing isn't static, it's very organic and rhythmic. And maybe most importantly, flourishing isn't something we do alone, right? It's something we do together in conversation, in care, in community. Because happiness is just the one color in your palette, right? And flourishing is the whole spectrum, right? It's light and dark and joy and grief and purpose and pause. It's really not I approach it really not with a sense of fixing yourself, but tending to things. Um, but learning to be with all of you, the messy and the magical. And sometimes the most powerful shifts uh comes when we stop searching for answers in our heads and really start listening to the wisdom that lives in our bodies, our energy, our intuition. And if your brain's been working over time trying to fix you, maybe it's time to stop thinking and start feeling into what's really there. And that's exactly what I'll do in my color readings and integration sessions. They are like a gentle blend of um RSOM, color energy, and guided meditation to help you tap into wisdom beyond words to kind of like reconnect with your inner inner voice. If that speaks to you, feel free to tap the link in bio to book your session. Um, yeah, and it's really quiet the noise and like help your intuition speak. Do that if that feel if that feels like something you want to try. Let me know if you have any questions. Happy to answer. And I'm excited to see you all next week on the Cine Crowd. And just like that, we've reached the end of another journey together on the Cine Group Podcast. Thank you for spending time with us. Curious for more stories or in search of the resources mentioned in today's episode? Visit us at scenigrootpodcast.com for everything you need. And if you're ready to embrace your scenic group, I have got something special for you. Step off the beaten path with my scenic group affirmation card deck. It's crafted for those moments when you're seeking courage, yearning to trust your inner boy and eager to carve out a path authentically, unmistakably yours. Pick your scenic group affirmation today and let it support you. Excited about where your journey might lead? I certainly am. Remember, the scenic route is not just about a destination, but the experiences, learnings, and joy we discover along the way. Thank you for being here, and I look forward to seeing you on the scenic route again.